this post really isn't up for commenting or discussion, it's for me.

mmk =]

my insides scream for freedom. but who's there to free me?

There's a lot that I don't say.

You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks,
even months analyzing a situation trying to put the pieces together,
justifyin' what could've, should've, or would've happened.
Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.
-Tupac

You're crazy, but I'm not done

Hello, what the hell am I doing here?

That's a really nice suit.
This is a really comfortable chair. See I don't know if you can
help me or not because I don't feel sick but the pains in my
head have almost put me underground. I don't really care
if I'm healthy or not, just clean my head.

I’m too paranoid. To get close like I should, that’s why I’m so difficult so. Let’s turn this around out and about and see what we can do with ourselves. When no one is looking I’m so fragile and unaware, but everyone’s a possible target to me. Give gave me basic principals of fighting. Before I didn’t know how to move.

 Now I know all too well, and no one is taking from me and that’s the bottom line. I feel like a movement coming through me, my family is against me. Even my indecisive mind is deciding to never again. Now I realize to use all the tools you have as an advantage over everyone around you. Not every day is so empowering, but if I’m not gaining something now then I’ve already lost everything. And only then do you realize what it is that you need. Hey look how pretty I’ve become over the years of hell choking me up.

            Don’t count on me to be who you need. Don’t count on me to help you with your insecurities, it’s about me now. It’s an illusion I use, not even in your sickest nightmares are you as fucked up as me. And watch what fucking flies out of your mouth authority figure because my temper is much worse. And don’t push me like that because I’ve already lost my mind once. I know what I’m capable of.

So who the hell are you to help me?  I’ve been to the edge and back again once or twice. I let fear become my best friend. I try not to like it too much. And mother, it’s a little late to care about me now. I know it must be fucking with you emotionally. So keep telling yourself what your mind forces you to believe, because if I was you, I couldn’t bear myself either.

You care about me? I don’t think so. Remember how I would cry until I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t sleep, lost every bit of my appetite. Oh what was I thinking in putting my trust in these people they don’t know me, they don’t even know themselves.

But I don’t feel so bad anymore.

Who were you in the position to make me feel that way?

"Asking if you love me,"

I love the way you make it sound

And you think I’m an asshole now. Well, you’re probably right, but at least I’m not blind to the facts. I’ve been wishing were lies, but still I hope you get everything that you care to possess.

i dont believe in concidences.

i want to live life and never be cruel;
i want live life and be good to you.
i want to fly and never come down
and live my life.
we never change, do we? no.
we never learn, do we?
i dont have a soul to save
and yes, i sin every single day

"For the sake of secrets, let's say I'm safe. Let's say I got a hiding place. Let's say I've made apologies, the hearts I've broken have been appeased. Let's say the storm, like most, will pass. Let's sing a song for relief at last. Let's say that only time will tell if I'm really over being overwhelmed. I've made mistakes. They keep me company. Oh man, what's up with me?

But I've changed, it's comforting."

& we're not the same people we once were.

That's the trouble; a sex symbol becomes a thing. But if I'm going to be a symbol of something, I'd rather have it sex than some other things we've got symbols of.

i'm not dead and this site isn't either.

updates will come in small doses every once in awhile.

take care of yourselves.

What happens when I grow old?

All my stories have been told.

But if there's one thing about you I admire its

 maybe, because you're as crazy as I am

And no matter how much

Too much is never enough

don't give up on me just yet.

i'll be moving in a while and after i get my computer hooked up there should be more updates.

hope everyone is doing well.

Dangerous face & illegal taste.

I Could use some company, in darkest hour.the bewitching hour.the breaking dawn. While im still sitting here.I would like some company. They saw her break through barriers forty feet high It was the finest moment in a long life Young boys would hang her pictures over their bed They saw her mouth move but they couldn't hear what she said-

 Rasputina.

How nice, to feel nothing and still get full credit for being alive.
-Kurt Vonnegut